How to Kill any Relationship--Fast

We left a little early for carpool this morning so I could stop by the auto repair shop. I had taken my vehicle there last night and put the key into the “early bird drop off”. The only trouble was, I forgot to put my recall notice in the envelope with the key. I had written a nice note on the drop-off envelope, “Recall notice inside”, but found it in my pocket this morning.

Oops.

I was going to just stuff it through the little slot and hope for the best, but my wife thought they’d probably be open at 7.

The lights were on, and the door was open (as usual, Ruth was right). I walked in the door, and the little chime rang, announcing my arrival but the guy in the next room didn’t even twitch. There was only a glass wall separating us, so I know he heard me.

I stood there for about a minute, and he finally disengaged from his computer and came to see what I wanted.

I always like to ‘share the love’ wherever I go, so I decided to bump up the energy a little. Just a little, though. I’ve learned that if you try to change too much at one time, you’ll drive them away further.

I know it's true, because I’ve experienced it plenty--on both sides. When I was in the hospital with pneumonia for 10 days in 11th grade, the nurses were WAY too perky for a kid lying in bed barely able to move. Once I started doing it correctly in my practice, my patients started getting much better results and seemed a lot happier.

Anyhoo, I said, “Hi...I dropped off my vehicle last night, and forgot to put this recall notice in the envelope, so I wanted to bring it in this morning…”

“I’ll put it right here.” No smile. No eye contact. No life.

So I tried again, a little softer. “Yeah, I was going to put it in the envelope last night, but when I got up this morning I found it still in my pocket (smile...laugh at self to break the tension)…”

Still nothing. Turn. Return to computer.

Oh, well. At least I tried.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, my daughter asked what happened. To sum it up, I shared my favorite quote from another “legendary for his enthusiasm” guy named Vince:

“If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you’ll be fired—with enthusiasm!”

This approach led Vince Lombardi to five championships in nine seasons at Green Bay, and cemented his legend status. Unfortunately, many folks don’t understand the connection between enthusiasm and success. In fact, if I didn’t know the shop owners personally, I might have ‘fired’ them based on that experience. Not because it was bad necessarily, but because it wasn’t good. There was no interest in the customer, no gratitude for me giving him money and keeping him employed. And it’s like that in more places than we’d like to admit.

Even though the boss might not fire you for lack of enthusiasm, the customer certainly can—and will. And you’re not immune just because you may be your own boss. If the customer “fires” you, you’re sunk. And this truth is not limited to business. It could be your significant other (how enthusiastic was your valentine?). Or your friends. Any relationship will suffer from lack of passion.

Enthusiasm is attractive. Dull is deadly.

So, put a little personality into your day today. Smile. Look someone in the eye. Be the first one to speak. Everyone appreciates a little enthusiasm, whether they thank you or not.

Live Enthused,

Dr. Vince