Worlds' Worst Shopper

I'm the world's worst shopper. Especially Christmas
shopping for my wife.

I'm a good husband 364 days a year...but always seem
to blow it on December 25th. She's not necessarily hard
to shop for; I'm just a lousy shopper. Some years are
better than others, but mostly I qualify as the "Little
Bummer Boy".

But things were looking up the year before Grace was born.
Ruth had mentioned that she needed a new robe. Yes!
A Robe. That should be easy: Go to the mall. Go to Rich's.
Find the robes. Try not to be seen near the unmentionables.
Buy a robe. No problem.

I was surprised at how well it was going. Within four
minutes, I found a nice flannel robe, dark blue and green,
in "Campbell" plaid (it was a sign from God!) There were
a few other flower-dy robes I could have chosen, but,
being a heck-of-an-engineer and everything, Ruth's not
real excited by frills and such.

Typically, our Christmas-Day gift exchange brings a holiday
jeer instead of a cheer. For instance: She'd give me a
Batman watch (I love Batman); I'd give her socks. She'd
give me a "Best of Barney Fife" video (including the classic
where he buys a motorcycle); I'd give her a "Batman: the
Move" video (she does not love Batman). And yes, once I
even gave her a double CD of my favorite group.

But this year was going to be different. I was the King of
Christmas. I had found the perfect gift--Campbell plaid
and all.

Ruth stumbled around the chilly house on Christmas morning,
wishing out loud that she had a new robe (I couldn't have
planned it better). We started a fire and began the formerly
dreaded festivities. I opened my gift first--it was a Batman
tie. I love Batman, I love ties. Perfect, as usual.

But I was confident. I had listened. I heard the clues. I
even put it on the credit card so she wouldn't know I'd
bought it until after Christmas. And she just said she
wanted a robe. I was a great husband, and I was giving
my wife a great Christmas present.

She opened it eagerly. She 'ooohed'. She 'ahhhed'.
She admired the colors and the texture (I had to point
out the part about "Campbell").

"Uh, honey..."

"Yes, dear?"

"I'm not 'petite'..."

Now, at 5' 10", my wife is anything BUT petite. She
showed me the tag. My heart sank.

"But honey," I pleaded, "I thought the 'P' stood for
'pajamas'!"

Only 15 shopping days left...any suggestions?

Dr. Vince

P.S. If you're stressed out over shopping (or work,
spouse, kids, finances, or anything else for that matter),
then you should buy yourself a Q-Link Personal Energy Pendant.

The Q-Link has a computer chip that acts like a tuning fork,
vibrates with your body's own energy, and amplifies it to
strengthen your personal 'force-field' from the Inside-Out.
Wearing it every day helps you r-e-l-a-x There's also a
Family Discount when you buy three or more...might be a
great stocking stuffer to protect your kids while they're sitting
in front of their new computers, Wii, PlayStation3, iPods, etc.,
soaking up all that electronic (EMF) stress...

http://www.drvinceonline.com/qlink.htm